Wow..thought I would never get back here!!! Holidays can be so busy!!

So this is late...to me anyway....and right now I am the only one who reads anything in here!! LOL That is cool though...it becomes like a Diary to me!!

The store was really busy through all the Holidays...well most of them!! Christmas most of all of course!! But after Christmas was like swamped!! Which is really super good!! I like to see that store really busy....Deb has worked so hard to build that into a nice business...and it feels so good to see the customers come back again and again...because she does have a great selection....she very much hand-picks everything for that shop!! And...she does a great job doing it too!!

My Mother ended up in the hospital from the Nursing Home~ She was not able to swallow anything, but seems to be doing better right now....and is suppose to be going back to the Nursing Home tomorrow!! So that is good news!! She is so fragile anymore...and that is sad to me....but she is 91 years old....and 'fragile' is really part of that age.

We had a good Holiday though~

No party at Kim's this year...so I found myself at Deb's Christmas Eve!! But I like going to Deb's house anyway!! Christmas Day Deb, our Dad and myself...all went to the hospital to spend that afternoon with our Mom...I think it made her happy....she seemed in good spirits to me~

Now we are looking forward to New Years!!! Hurray!

We are planning on heading over to Tampa, Florida for New Years Eve....want to get in some gambling you know!! Sure do miss it!! So it will be fun, I already know that!! Zack is coming with Deb and I to Tampa...and that too is good!! He loves to gamble...and he needs the break from this place as bad as Deb and me....so I am looking forward to this.

Not looking forward to New Years Day though!! I never do anymore! That is Michael's birthday you see...and this year....2010....he will be 37 years old!! He has been gone now nearly 6 years!! Wow...how time does fly so quickly....even if you are not having fun!!

I do enjoy myself more now...but on days like his birthday and his death day.....I don't really enjoy too very much without the constant thought that he is no longer a part of my life here on earth. Well...he is but not like before! He is in spirit to me always with me...and I think this in my mind helps me live a more normal life maybe. I think it does really.

Today....I met Tabby....my ole' Ghost Hunting buddy...and we went to see New Moon!!! That was really a good movie!! Am I going to buy it??? You bet! Will try to be the first one in line even to get it!! I think Tabby was a bit tired...but she is so sweet...even tired she drove all the way from St. Augustine to meet me to see this movie!! And she already saw it 2 times before!!

She is though...like me....a total "TwiHead"....it is really hard not to be, when you are looking at Vampires that look like these in Twilight do!! LOL Mostly Edward...but really they all look so fine to me!! So I did enjoy this Sunday to the fullest!! I enjoyed seeing Tabby, Michael and Brandon again too!! I do miss not seeing them all the time like I use to...we always had such good times together Ghost Hunting.

My time though does not allow me to be involved in that like I use to...and through fairness...I sort of gave it all up...not in my heart though...because I will be forever interested in what that group is doing next!! I think Tabby knows this....and that is good too!! We have a lot to talk about when we get together....but today, we really didn't talk very much, as we centered ourselves on the movie!! LOL It was still a ton of fun to me!!

Well there really isn't that much more to write about here tonight!!

Got work tomorrow!! Need my rest...I think!!!

One more thing...and this is the spoiled side of me here....I am ready for SUMMER!!!

We are not even to the New Year yet...and I am already wishing it would get hot!! This is Florida afterall!! I want the sun and the heat!! Once upon a time....long long ago....I thought I loved the winter!! Boy was a stupid back than!! Just have no use for this cold!! And I know that cold to me is zip nothing to someone living up North!!! But we have a lot of room in Florida...sort of anyway....people up North need to move South!! Winter is too cold!

Even at 65°...that is too cold!! So to all you Snowbirds....in weather at -20°....I don't know how you do it!!! I would have to jump in my car and head South...even if for only the winter months!!!

Know the snow is gorgeous...but I think it is prettier looking at it in picture myself!! LOL

Give me the Hot Hot Hot Summers of Florida any ole' day of the year...that is more my style!!

Well got to run!! Till next time!! And that could be whenever...as you can see...a daily writer I am not!! LOL

Am doing pretty good!! LOL
This is the 16th...and I am writing again!! Not a normal thing to say the least!! I usually spip past many days..than write!! So this is pretty good for me~

Just finished reading the beginning portion of Midnight Sun....that was written on Edward's take~ Wow...that is all I can say!! I think Srephenie Meyer's needs to write this one for everyone!! The little that she has allowed us to read of that book, tells a whole lot about Edward...and how he was actually suffering through that first meeting of Bella~ She was so different...so confusing to him...because he was not able to read her mind...and because her scent was so strong to him...so compelling....breaking down all he had worked so hard to be....[different than other Vampires, one who did not feed upon humans]...Bella was so different to him...and it left him completely open to what he "could" be~
I do hope she writes this book~ It tells the story from a different angle and that angle needs to be out there for all of her readers.
Pluss...the story has to keep going!!
Now I sound almost addicted to it myself!! WOW!!!
I am in the 4th book now...and I am taking it so much slower than all the other books...not wanting it to come to an end!! The story is really that good!!

Dragging my thoughts away from Edward and Bella now!! LOL

Have got work today...dso this entry needs to be smaller~

I do hope that Tabby and her group had a wonderful time Sunday night at Ashley's!! I know that was an important investigation for them all. This morning I came across some more EVP's that I missed on my computer...now I have to figure out how to get them off to her!! I didn't want to miss any of them...my concern was that she DID get everything from past investigations. So I do feel bad about missing these...but honestly, I did not think I had missed any! Rats!!
I will get them to her one way or another...that I am sure of....I just hate it that I did not see them when I was doing the disks for her.

This week will be a short workweek for me!! I will not be working one of the days that I normally work, because I am going to the Nursing Home on Thursday to have Thanksgiving Dinner with my Mother. We all are I think~
Going to the Nursing Home has become a very hard thing for me of lately. When I do go there...I come away completely drained of all energy! It is so bad. No one seems to understand this...so I have given up trying to explain it to anyone.
It is all the death that I feel when I am there...and I have walked in the shoes of grief for such a long time now that getting around all that death seems to take my positive outlook and crush it something terrible! I have to rebuild my outlook everytime I go there. The rest of my family is not affected in this way. They are naturally affected by the saddness of that place, and the way my Mother is today...not at all what we want to remember of her...she was always so special to all of us. She still is you see...but now it is hard for any of us to see her this way.
For me though...it is bringing back to front view...death! And it is harder than the others know. I would not want them to have to feel the way I do to understand me...not at all. For them to understand would mean that they too, would have to walk in my shoes. Sometimes I think they understand a bit...because they know all that I have lost in this life. But it is easy for them to forget when they get tired of going there themselves~

I have to work on this dealing with that Nursing Home~
Something that I have to get past....something that I have to deal with. Afterall, my Mother is there and I to be able to visit her as often as I can.

It is really bad when death has surrounded a person...and going to a place where there is nothing but death. A problem to deal with. Everyday has new problems...but this one problem is something that has been with me a long time.
I will have to teach myself to not be so affected by the overwhelming death in that Nursing Home is all!

Well this is it for today!!!
Will try to hit in here again tomorrow!! That is a good thing for me....getting my thoughts out!! Instead of bottling them up and letting them become their own kind of monsters~
So tomorrow...I will return....I will try to return~~

Wow...it has been a little bit since I actually posted in here!! Have been in here a ton of times, but only to do different things...like add more stuff!!

Well I know it is the 15th of November...but I am still up from the 14th!! LOL
The 14th has always been a bit hard for me..since January 17th, 1989.
My youngest son was killed that day...he was only 13 years old and just the happiest little kid!! It was accidental...he went out to play with a friend, across the street, and the little boy had found some rifles in his closet...and when Chris finally got there, the boy was overly excited about his find! He pulled one out and wanted Chris to see it...but Chris had building a new Leggo set on his mind! In the process of trying to get my sons attention, the rifle the boy was holding went off and it did kill Chris, his best friend. So it goes without saying that every year since Chris has been gone, on the 14th of November is a bit hard for me still, because it is Chris' birthday...and this year he would have been 34 year old!!
This year though was a bit smoother for me...I am living with it all just fine.
We can't change what things have happened that are so final as death...so we have to learn to live with the ugly things in lives and just keep moving forward.

So I want to just say...Happy Birthday Chris...you are always with me and I love dearly and always will~

I actually had a very good day today...and Chris would be very proud of me! I know he would! I went to work...which I really do enjoy...and than towards the end of the evening, some very dear friends came to see me. It was just so good to see them again...have not seen them for a good while now...months and months~ Tabby and her husband, Michael, and their son Brandon~ Tabby and I were the Founders of Florida Ghost Chasers....and through many trials and error...I left the group, but thank goodness she kept going! They came to purchase my equipment...and we shared a lot of time at Denny's...laughing and just talking about so many things we had done before, and what all they are doing as a group now. Got to say...I am really very proud of her, she has really hung in there and that group is doing so many wonderful thing right now.
It was good to be able to just sit and chat with them again...like we use to do after every investigation...go have breakfast!! It was really so much fun!
It was so good to see them..and I hope we do it again and again and again!!
I do want her to keep me updated on the group because I just know that it is going to go far!! They are all very much into their work, and that is wonderful to me!!
I see only good things coming for them as a group.

Well it is late and I am going to make this one short!!! LOL
Will hit this again tommorrow though!! I hope!!
WEll hey it is tommorrow!! Later today than!! LOL
Till than........

Wow..this was an interesting day for me...in more ways than one!!

Really got to watch "twilight" last night and fell in love with it!! Oh my that is a great movie for sure!! But I love Vampires...like most women...many will not even admit it though!! I don't mind telling you though...
Sooooo...today I set out to find out how many movies are going to be made with this Twilight...and I think it will be 4!! New Moon is coming out in November...Nov.20th to be exact here!! I want to be there to see it at the movies this time...and buy the DVD later!!
I also spent a lot of th=ime scouting out the book on the whole thing...and there are 4...containing 2560 pages in all!!
I wanted that whole set!! No way around it!! And in Hardcover...because I am a Book Collector!!
But I want to read these first!!
So I found them at a great price in eBay this morning!! Started my day off right I think!! I bought them for certain!!

Than I sat here working on my artwork for a few hours...thinking about so many things~
How bad I have been to people I care about was one of my topics!! Normally I am not bad to anyone...more times than most...people are bad to me!! And I just go on...laugh about it and keep moving forward~
But really and truly...I have been not too nice to a few people that I do care about and that is really not good for me at all.
It ruins my whole outlook on myself...waste my energy on things not needed in my life....and is just really stupid on my part!!
So because I buying something in eBay...I went into my email account for my Pay Pal...and noticed there was an email in there from a person, who bought tickets for FGC's ParaCon but has not heard anything back from them yet and the ParaCon is TONIGHT!!!
So I emailed it all to Tabby. She needed to know about this. Through that email...I guess it led to me emailing something interesting that I also found in eBay...that they as a team really need. Not that they do not have a DVR system...but they could really use a new one...so I emailed that along to her also.
She did email me back...and after reading her emails and there were 2...I decided it was time to call an end to our problems!
Yes...these problems are stupid!!
We both were Founders of FGC....but I left on my own...because once I was booted from the group...and after asked to return and did...I really felt out of place anymore there.
I do care about them though...and that they do have investigations to do...and I talk to people everyday...about FGC and their work...and have had so many people ask me if there is a way that I might be able to contact that group still for an investigation.
I always say I will try...but never do try.
All of that has to stop!
I do care about many of people in that group...they were good people to me once...and are all still good people.
I like Tabby...we use to be really good friends....but it seems that friendships sometimes suffer needlessly.
I like Charles and his wife alot too...and I miss Michael sneaking up behind me and scaring the poop out of me!! LOL
We had some great times as a group...and that is a fact.
So I am putting the whole thing to rest....no more problems...I am so tired of problems.
I did email Tabby back to let her know that she has never been forgotten by me...she is and will remain a person I do consider a friend.
Same with Charles, Holly his wife, Hollyberry, Jim...and of course Lauren!!

This is my good leaf I am turning over today!
I am happy about it...and I can smile bigger now...because I have tried to make amends with Tabby.
I am a pretty happy person really....and having things out of wack are not good for me~
So I can go to bed tonight knowing I tried to make things right between all of us somehow.
My day has been very good today...and I am smiling about it right now, because I can sleep without feeling bad about anything.